Being in your late twenties isn’t really all it’s cracked up to be. When did we stop going out all weekend and start relishing in the thought of a good book and a glass of wine? When did I start enjoying wine? When did one shot of tequila turn into a night with my head in the toilet and a three day hangover? It would take me less time to recover from minor surgery then from a proper hangover (sorry, that’s the nurse in me coming out). My point is, when did we go from having our whole lives ahead of us to life being right here knocking at our door? When did we start adulting?
In case you haven’t already figured it out, I don’t have children. I am on the path to having them and petrified by the thought, but we’ll get to that eventually. That aspect of adulting can wait, I’m not sure I’m ready to deal with all of that just yet.
At twenty-three (I feel like that was a good year for me) I had just gotten my dream job, I had just come out and was busily exploring the lesbian scene here in Melbourne and I had no cares. I had a blog named Sapphic City, a radio show by the same name, on Joy FM and an alter ego whose dream it was to be famous. I was out most night of the week, dinner, drinks, stumbling through the threshold at four am with whoever I was seeing at the time. Life was fun and life was carefree. The was no adulting there! Just tequila, lines in the bathroom and the blurred faces of past and present lovers.
So here I am, not twenty-three but twenty-eight and everything has changed. Partners, job, hair color, aspirations, all changed. I am a leader in my department, I have a fiance that loves me, a wedding to plan, the makings of a house deposit, and this overwhelming sense that the dream, the wedding, the house, the kids is not in some far from reach future. It’s right here, standing in front of me or rather sneaking up behind me waiting to jump out and scream “Boo! You’re old” at any moment. It’s a terrifying thought.
But I guess you have to look at both sides of the coins. Twenty-eight is not all that bad, I own adulting! I am happy in my career, I have a woman in my life that loves me, I have enough money to be comfortable and enjoy the finer things in life and I am in a good place with my mental health. So I’m not complaining, more trying to work through the thoughts and fears that I have about having children and moving to the suburbs. This is it, the big shift, it’s a lot to work through.
The truth will set you free.
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