This will be my last re-post before I start posting some work that is written by Lacey and not Eldiese. The last three blogs that I have posted are a selection of my previous blogs written by my high femme, lesbian alter ego Eldiese. They are my favorite blogs that I have written and I think that they give an accurate picture of who I was back then and will provide context when I start delving into my journey and how I became me. So I hope you enjoy this little window into my Sapphic City.
We’ve been working up to this all night, we both know it… the flirting, the not-so-casual touching, this is not my usual Sundaylicious flirting, I mean business. Dancing a little to the left of the dance floor. Her hand on my hip, the other on the small of back holding me close. My hands around her neck, fingers in her hair, sending shivers down her spine. She’s just toying with me now, waiting to see if i’ll make the first move. Normally I would, but tonight I feel like being pursued … I tilt my head to the side, looking up at her through my lashes, i give her a shy smile. This does it.
She pushes me against the wall, pinning me there with her hips. Hooking her finger under my jaw, she tilts my face to meet hers, her beautiful ice blue eyes piercing my very soul, making my heart melt and my sweet spot ache, I couldn’t move even if I wanted too… Our lips meet, the kiss is cautious, experimental, both of us feeling the others reaction. Her lips are so soft and sweet, I can’t help but relax my mouth just a little, allowing her tongue the room to slide over my lips. This small movement ignites a fire between our bodies, her hand in my hair, holding me, her body pressed against mine allowing me to feel every reaction to my touch. A small moan escapes my mouth…
Pfft… I wish. I snap out of my fantasy and look around. Sundaylicious at the Warf Hotel. One of my favorite lesbian events and the one place where I’m guaranteed to see the subject of my little fantasy. If only I had the confidence to flirt back, if she was flirting with me at all… I can never really tell. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a chronic flirt, to the point where many people may think I’m a bit of a player, but when face to face with someone I find attractive (butch women), it takes all of my concentration not to blush (which, apparently this is an endearing quality) or give myself away, unless, having ingested a fair amount of liquid courage beforehand. Yeah yeah, cute… I know (and extremely embarrassing), but I’m a dork and a just little nerdy.
My dorky awkwardness and inability to instigate serious flirtation aside, the other hurdle I am faced with in this situation, is the all too common complication of ‘Sex degrees of Separation’. Anyone who is a member of a minority social scene, particularly the lesbian scene, knows what I’m talking about. That moment when you wave at your crush from across the room, and your friend turns and says “You weren’t waving at ‘Insert Name Here‘ were you?” When this happens, you may as well give up and move on, because the odds are, that your friend has:
a) fucked your crush,
b) been fucked over by your crush,
c) know someone who been fucked or fucked over by your crush,
or, if you’re a lesbian in Melbourne
d) all of the above.
This happened to Sara and I at Sundaylicious yesterday…
Sarah: “You didn’t just wave to Jade did you?”…
As soon as I heard those words leave her mouth, my mind’s eye put my little fantasy in the spank bank, and my vag shut up shop for the day, because I definitely wasn’t going home with Jade, nor, would I be asking her out, as much as I wanted too. Sara clearly has an issue, so I settle myself in with my Gin and Tonic and try to concentrate on Sara’s story, while my sex drive cries out, mourning for what would’ve been. You know, had I actually grown a pair of decent sized ovaries and bought her a drink.
So long story-short, Jade was apart Sara’s ex’s social group. Awkward for any relationship that didn’t end well, when you consider the dividing of the friends,her side and her side, the bitching, the foul play. Sara’s ex cheated on her, so there’s a lot of bad blood there. However, Sara has not slept with Jade, and Jade has not fucked her over in anyway, nor has she fucked anyone else I know, so I say “Fuck It”.
I will (please god, give me the confidence) flirt with her if and when I see fit, and hopefully a little more. But my point is that in this little Sapphic City I call Melbourne, you can’t break up with someone via cat fight or with any bad blood between the two parties because everyone knows everyone, and the next time you walk into DnM, your dirty laundry will be all over Facebook, Pinksofa and every smart phone in the joint. It’s not worth the drama but it’s fun to observe. What can I say? I like to watch.
So my advice ladies, keep it clean, not mean, Love each other just a little bit more and if you see Jade… send her my way.
Until next week.
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